Waa Waa

Finding out that what seemed like the house of our dreams is no longer in our plans is a bummer, to say the least. I am so sad and stressed about it, but I keep putting it to the back of my mind because I know something good will come out of this. Thankfully I have Rory by my side through this. I know it sounds like such a petty thing to be upset about, and I HATE giving my self any pity, but in all honesty, it does suck! What can I do though, right? Move on with life for now til something better comes along. Sigh, new story!

I have been thinking a lot lately about my migraines. I don't think I mention them a lot on here, mostly because they are not something I enjoy (obviously) and like I said, hate feeling bad for my self, but I figure it is something I would want to look back on someday, just in case the extremely unfortunate event happens that one of my precious babies ends up with migraines.

For as long as I remember, I have had Chronic Migraines. Being little and having your whole head feel like it just might explode, was tough. I had a hard time telling my mom because I didn't understand it there for I didn't know how to explain it. Thankfully, they werent a daily, weekly, or even a monthly occurrence at that point. As I grew older, I started to notice my head hurting more and more. It got particularly worst when I hit the age of ten. Ten was just the beginning of a rough time for me. Problems occurred with my dad (something I wrote about in a previous blog post) and I became extremely depressed. I am not sure if the stress and depression made my migraines become deliberately worst, or if it was the fact that was around the time I started hitting puberty. Either way, they did become worst. Still, it was only once a month or two. By the time I hit 14, I was getting them at least once a week. If you have ever had a true migraine, you know the pain is a lot worst than a head ache. You get hot, the light feels like it might just be burning holes in your brain, sound echoes and it seems like any little thing could kill you. I always end up puking once or twice from the pain. After seeing multiple doctors and having tests done and MRI's and cat scans, it was becoming clear that it was just something that was apart of me, nothing that could really be fixed. I was trying all sorts of pills, with really no luck. After having my gall bladder out (due to it no longer functioning) I went a week with no head pains, not even a head ache. I was thinking I was better, but I was wrong. I got a migraine, it ended up putting me in the hospital, the first of many times this will happen, they tried all sorts of medicines to get it to stop, and nothing worked. They ended up sedating me over night. Thankfully I woke up with just a head ache.
These days, I havent gone a day with out atleast a head ache, and no longer than two weeks with out a migraine. It has been a good three years with only maybe two weeks tops going pain free.
I have been having a hard time thinking about the rest of my life with this, but I see the best things that I could possibly ask for, my husband, my babies and my family. I could not imagine living with out them. I am thankful for the fact that my migraines are just that, pain in my head. It is nothing that will take me away from my family to soon, nothing that will make me unable to walk or debilitate me for longer than a day or so. I am thankful that it is nothing worst than that.

My mom was diagnosed 4 years ago with Multiple Sclerosis.  She has days she can not walk, but she pushes through the pain and works, because it needs done. She is a strong woman. She is the most perfect mom. I hope to be some one like her. My mom has good days and terrible days. I am just so thankful that her MS is slow moving. She has shown me how to be strong on days I wake up in terrible pain, because life has to move on.

I truly hope my babies don't have to deal with the pain of a migraine more than they should have too, but if they ever do, I hope I can be an example to them like my mom is to me.